i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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