Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
