But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
