We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
