we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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