dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
