The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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