Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
