I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Randomize
