think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You left your phone here
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