Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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