let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
