I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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