Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
