My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
