Dude my mom stole all your condoms
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
