the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Will exercising make me less horny?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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