I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
