The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You can't motorboat a personality
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
