I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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