Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
