Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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