i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
