it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
nutella sex= disaster
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
