If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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