operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
