I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so explain again why im purple
no
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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