At least make sure they are 18
Why
Say something about gay babies.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
