Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
