we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
