I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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