Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
