Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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