would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
