yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
