i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
