does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
