I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
