i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
