He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
