Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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