No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
