How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
