How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
