One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
