Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
