We won't sleep together?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
