At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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