Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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