So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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