How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
