Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
