Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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